Martha Stewart, Sit On My Face by Crad Kilodney
Martha Stewart, you are the sexiest woman in America. You make all those Hollywood stars, vamps, models, pin-ups, and hard-bodies look like so many bags of laundry. When I see you on TV, I see a thermonuclear sex bomb disguised as a homemaker.
I want you to sit on my face, baby doll. Grind your pussy hard and fast on my mouth so I can eat you out and suck your clit. I can do it all night, believe me. I want you to work my knob with your lips and tongue while I grab your prodigious ass and dig my fingers into your fragrant crack. I will lick your butthole and stick my tongue into it.
Your tits are like mountains of pleasure. I can tell you are stacked beyond belief, and all natural for sure. Now turn around and fuck me from on top and let your delicious hooters press on my face. I want to grab them hard and suck your nipples. Yeah, baby, be my hot, dirty slutcake. Let me hear you moan and scream and call me a kinky sex beast. You make my cock feel like it’s twelve inches long. Let me shove it in as far as I can. I want to shoot my hot load of cum into your wet cunt.
Now let me get behind you and savor the sight of your fantastic ass while my cock goes in and out. You’re my piece of meat. I will fuck you in every position I know. I will fuck you in the ass. I will cum in your mouth. I will give you a tongue bath. I will spank you and pinch you. Yeah, fight me a little. Make me work for it. Let’s make it feel like rape.
I don’t give a shit if you sold your ImClone shares illegally. Let your accusers prove it. They’re all a bunch of jerks anyway. Some people are out to get you because they can’t stand the sight of perfection. You’ve got it all, and they don’t. It’s envy, pure and simple.
Martha, baby, after we’ve spent ourselves thrashing about in our cesspool of lust, I want to show you my secret family recipe for potatoes. We call them “bang-up potatoes.” They’re red potatoes partially split open and fried in a pot until they’re crisp and brown, and they’re seasoned with crushed coriander seeds. We always had them at our house on special occasions.
Tell you what, let’s do a great big meal. We’ll have steak, potatoes, asparagus, and some nice wine. And for dessert, some cherry cheesecake, which I’m sure you could make with your eyes closed.
And Billy Tauzin and the House Energy and Commerce Committee, and James Comey and the Manhattan U.S. Attorney’s office, and the entire Securities and Exchange Commission can go fuck themselves
by Crad Kilodney
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Crad Kilodney, P.O. Box 72577, 345 Bloor St. East, Unit 7, Toronto, ON, M4W 3S9
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